should I still love him?

  • khoviyeuanh

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • This is the situation I'm facing now. I just met this friend again 4 months ago, apparently we've met for the first time 10 years ago but didn't really talk until now. When we met again, we have so many things in common and we really clicked. Until recently, his ex-girlfriend is back into the picture, he said he doesn't love her but his family loves her a lot and wants him to marry her. For him, he feels that marriage is about knowing a person for a long time, not about loving a person. In his mind right now, he's thinking of marrying her, but also at the same time he say he loves me. For my side, I feel that he is the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with, but too many difficulties that's preventing us being together. I really don't know what to do, don't know whether I should still loving him or not, but deep down inside I still love him a lot. Please advice me.

  • flytothesky

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • If you really do love him, then you should let him know how you truly feel about him.

    If he thinks marriage is about knowing a person for a long time, not about loving a person, then I dont think he is very bright., Blinking
    Although his family loves her, HE doesn't.
    Perhaps he is under pressure from the family?
    I think he should decide his future, instead of his mama.

  • Lustify

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • "Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing; a confusion of the real with
    the ideal never goes unpunished" -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
    If he is only interested in marrying her because of his family and because he has associated with her for a long period of time then he surely may be making amongst one of the biggest mistake in his life.
    Just because you know a person for a long time doesn't necessary mean that you can love them. It should though- yet there are many kinds of love- friendship, blah de blah.
    I personally think that this guy needs to set forth his priority straight and figure out exactly what he truly wants in the person whom he expects to marry. And based on what you said- simply just knowing a person for an extremely long time is not a good criteria in figuring out who to marry.

  • co8edzeghet

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • I think you should tell him how you feel about him and tell him to make up his mind. He shouldn't be letting you on like that by using I love you, but in his mind, he is thinking about marrying another girl. Which show he isn't a right guỵ You might want to reconsider.

  • Sw3et2DaMaxs

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • from wut i see this guy not eve qualify to thinking of marry
    how can he say he love som1 and marrying to another Evil
    sometime in life you have to be selfish and think for yuorself
    marry is big think in ppl life, wheather is guy or girl .
    and yeah if he say but his family like that guy
    tell him is his family marry her or he is. and he is the one who gonna live with her day in day oụt. an di dont see how the marriage gonna work, after he say that he love you and stuff. i odn noe why he even thinkin of marry went his heart is not even devour to one person.
    about wut u should tell him, just tell him that he should be selfish an dthik for himself, he should make choice that he thikn happier for him, and but family aside because family sometime they over concern and think wut is best for u, aslong as he make choice and he happy about it i am pretty sure his family would be happy for him as well

  • khoviyeuanh

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • Thank you for all your great advice. From reading the replies, it seems clear that I shouldn’t love someone who hurts me continuously. But as always, easier said than done. In my mind, I keep questioning myself, why do I love him even in pain and sorrow? Sometimes in life there’s never an exact answer to such question. In love, as I can see it right now, the mind and the heart contradicts with one another. My mind tells me to walk away and live a happier life, but my heart always find a way back to be with him. Without him wouldn’t be a happier life, it may be a life without tears, but not necessary a happy life. Every girl would love for her guy to be independent of his family and make his own decision, but when you have loved someone whom is very family-dependant, what can you do? I have always held the concept of “fate had brought us together, now it is up to us to stay together,” but if one is doubtful and not working toward the goal, then the relationship that the two have built will collapse eventually. Only if I can convince my heart to walk away and never to look back, I wouldn’t be facing this situation.

  • Lustify

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • Yeah but, you love him. I'm pretty sure that if you are the type that has high hopes and is determined to turn those hopes into reality- then you should fight for what you have and don't give up.
    There are many things to consider when you give him up. It is sacrificial, almost, but there could both be many good and bad things that come along with it. I say that you are in too deep to want to burrow your way out. When I fell in love with the wrong guy- in my heart he was the most admirable guy (man!) that existed in this world- but that was what my heart said. And in reality he was just another guy playing with my love. Personally, if you already don't believe in the existence of your relationship right now, then it is best if you don't pursue it.
    I know what it is like to meet one of those guys who values family over love between a guy and a girl- and truthfully, I really value those guys because they are the ones that knows how to respect and appreciate what they truly have in life. And having family as your first priority is always the best way to go. However, as life has modernized and so has the people living in it as well- it is kind of awkward to find a guy that truly believes that. And I say this guy must be something really special if he is true to his beliefs.
    Anyways, my point is that- you should do what you want to do. He's indecisive right now- but only because of his family and you have got to respect that. It would be incredibly selfish for you to make him choose between his family or you- and most likely you will lose in this battle that hasn't even yet begin.
    If you have the patience, then you should wait for him, and give him time, because that's what he needs most. Maybe at this time he is testing how strong your guys love is for each other. Hmmm... I don't know, it's all up to you. :)

  • Sw3et2DaMaxs

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • hmmm i don think this guy is testing the relationship LUST. i noe guy don do those sort of test.
    i think he more like confuse because i was in the situation too
    but then i just talk to my mum and that that i love other girl and doesnt matter if they eccept it or not, i make my own decision and will accept the consequence, and would be great if i have you guy support me

    that guy need talk to his family more and say wut he feel. cuz i see too many child just doesnt communicate to they parent , and then they go on and wincchin about they parent don understand them
    it good to have heart to heart talk with ur parent sometime

  • Lustify

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • But see Dan- this guy is the type that puts family forth above all- how can it be that his relationship with his family isn't well? I mean, it sure would seem like people who respects and appreciates their family would have great communication within the household.
    Well, as for me. I guess you are right- since I am only a girl and I cannot predict the mind and logical thinking of men- I can only assume from my experiences with them, which may as well be biased information.

  • khoviyeuanh

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • I guess all these times I have been living in a dream world and now it's time for me to wake up and face the realitỵ I'm sure fate takes an active role in such situation as this. I now realize that if the two was meant to be together, there's nothing can break them apart, yet if it wasn't meant to be, then there's nothing one person can do to defy fate.

  • Lustify

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • Yeah, I thought I believed in Fate too- but I don't. People who lets faith decide life for them are those who are not taking the challenge to attempt fate. Let's just have fate as another obstacle in the way of a relationship. Fate is not something I believe in- instead I believe that if I want something enough, then I would work my hardest to make it work. :)

  • Sw3et2DaMaxs

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • yeha i noe fate doesnt control ur whole life LUST, fate is oly half of it wut are u gonna do with that fate is another half
    but i mean i see so many pointless relationship that is just wasnt on.... let not get too far away from this topic....

    my point is... if this guy cant go through which situation like this, then i mean he really don noe wut he want it.
    maybe he feel comfortable with the one he spend so much time
    that he don wanna risk it, then later one regrettin about his decision
    probadly somewhere in corner of his head he not that comfident in riskin it all for you
    to which come to conclusion he might love you then but deep down he havent love you enough to risk it all

  • QuanTuKiem

    khoảng 2 10 năm trước
  • yes, this guy is definitely not worth wasting ur time and effort on.Just pass on something else.If he really loves u as he claims to, he would go against his parents' will and marry u, that would be a good proof enough for u, but if he says he loves u then he wants to marry another one, then i think this is bull***t.


Designed by squallions © 2004 - 2009 maiyeuem.net (MYE). All Rights Reserved.
All posts and comments are owned by the poster. MYE is not responsible or liable for any content its member posted.
Mọi chi tiết, xin liên hệ: contact
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group