The Tears of Hopeless

  • CoBeLanhLungTuyetTinh

    January 28th 2012, 11:51 pm
  • Jan 7-2012

    the people so sad in these days they always pick on you no matter you fat or skinny seen like they have no life .

    Jan 8-2012

    Why alot of stuff happen to me today ... i do need help like other people and i was sad and want to cry aloud as i could but do people care ? no they don't even care they only think for themselve not you ... sometimes i Just want one wish to come true but no that wish will never come and happen to my life . Y because my life is suck like hell ...

    thing never happen to you easy until you do or make it hapoen !!! Don't just sit here and dream about even in the society right now people said no work no money ...... (no money no talk)

  • CoBeLanhLungTuyetTinh

    January 29th 2012, 12:24 am
  • Jan 24-2012

    The first day of Chinese New Year was not bad because I do need to go to work not like those rich people don’t need to work still have money. And I don’t have to think that much, but when I go back home I think all random stuff and make myself such a useless and pointless person, at work is ok because is keep me busy all the time and I do have fun working with children’s . Thinking about after work I need to go home and do everyday chores I already tried and seriously the chores always there waiting and never finish on time. Sometimes I hate myself to bad.

    Second day of Chinese new year I am sitting inside my car and thinking back two day ago I was fighting with my mom about my older brother wife because every year the family had to wait for her to came back for the Chinese year new dinner, the family was wait for 3 year already and still need to wait this year, and she never show up on time wait and wait until midnight and the family was so hungry and the food is cold. I hate her to do that to the family and I am dislike her and this happen all the time. She own a nail shop and she is the boss of my brother I hate that my brother was stupid one to marry her that what I think. Before long time ago when I turn in 18 -21 year old I do had a wish that my whole family sit down and had a great dinner all together without a fight but it is never come true. Then I figure out my hope and dream is the hopeless and dreamless like always. From now on every time when my older brother wife come for the dinner at the house the fight is begin or let say the family drama is about to happen.

  • CoBeLanhLungTuyetTinh

    January 29th 2012, 12:28 am
  • Jan 25-2012

    Beautiful day….…got stuck at work if not let go the beach and relax myself

  • Lòng Trắc Ẩn

    January 29th 2012, 2:10 pm
  • Cô giáo lại "tâm sự trùng trùng" nữa ha! .. :-D

  • CoBeLanhLungTuyetTinh

    January 31st 2012, 10:56 pm
  • Jan 28-2012

    A few days ago I ask him to take me to the korean friendships bell at San Pedro park because the last three year he took  me there for the second date and there was the best place to look at the sunset specially I want to remember the place he took me to and the San Pedro park was the best memories I had with him. Me and him went to the park  today after drinking tea with my sisters. At the San Pedro park i love the fresh air come from the beach and I can see the whole view I of the beach is so nice make myself relax and cosy . Me and him take a walk around the park and the beach area , then we walk to the lighthouse and walk back to the park about 5 :09 pm ish .  We sit down on the grass and look at the sunset going down slowly after the sunset we get ready go home. On the way home we talk every less because he did not talk much , he is very shy . Not like me talk a lot . We are getting hungry we stop at tofu house locate at san Gabriel and eat. After eat we walk at k-mart , Almost 9:30 pm he drop me home. 

  • lovely_allie

    February 1st 2012, 12:31 am
  • Is this ur new bf?

  • Venus

    February 1st 2012, 9:49 am
  • Sounds like cblltt has same bf mà sillie.

    As a stranger .... I am curious so reading your diary, I am thinking of forgiveness, be easy, be happy, live for the day --> we will have better day everyday.

    Being 18-21 yrs old long time ago: mean you are not that young now even back then you are okay to live by yourself ... if doing only chore in the house everyday make you feel overloaded--> why not move out, then you will appreciate the past Sun may be one day in the future, you think: I would love to do everything for my parents if they live with me Sun

    If someone in the family couldn't make to a special or normal family's dinner on time, that is her problem: just let her clean the dishes once she arrives, I bet she does not want everyone to wait for her too Sun

    Treat others the way you want to be treated: you will be happy!!!!

  • lovely_allie

    February 1st 2012, 10:23 am
  • Good advices sis Venus. I think you think too much of what others think of you. You should try to be more carefree. My problem is I think too much sometimes and that is the reason that I have troubles sleeping at night and whenever I am more relax and carefree, I tend to sleep better.

  • CoBeLanhLungTuyetTinh

    February 5th 2012, 2:29 pm
  • To: Lovely Allie

    i just wish i can dump him to get another boyfiend ... hahha but i do love him ...... cánt do it ...

    To: Venus
    let me laugh as aloud .... yeah let her wash the dishes .... she is so commanding ... even my broher is her husband still listen to her ...

  • CoBeLanhLungTuyetTinh

    February 5th 2012, 2:43 pm
  • Feb 2-2012

    Most people think that working in the preschool is very easy job, but they did not know how hard i have to work and need a lot of patient to working with 2-6 years old kids. Sometimes i do run out of patient and i do want to yell and scream at the children but i take a few second to think about it is not worth it , just need to relax myself plus i must control myself to stay out the trouble beside i don't want people/ parents think i am wrong to take the anger at they lovely children , i just need a quite place to think and crying aloud .

  • CoBeLanhLungTuyetTinh

    February 5th 2012, 3:00 pm
  • Feb 3-2012

    Tonight is a lonley night for me , why ? just because no one care for me even him , ignore me and went out with his friends / loser brother and his parents now i don't even care any more , i came back from work i already sad and tired and my mom keep yelling at me with the little bit thing or sometimes yelling me for no reason i hate that and just want to run away or at least hide in somewhere no body can find me , now i have to hide in my room with the darkeness under my blanket for crying aloud , then i am starting to yelling at myself such as a stupid, useless and worthless person in the whole world , when i was born my life already unlucky and my fucking life meant to be like this way all the time , i think if i do have a wish i will wish that i already die in the day i was born , i do think that because no matter how hard i try my mom did not support me and keep yepping at me with those stupid things not even worth it to make me feel down in the bottom . it is like already hurt then people just step into your pain ...

  • lovely_allie

    February 5th 2012, 8:57 pm
  • Sometimes how stupid some people may act, they are the way they are and no matter how hard you are trying to change things, it is very difficult especially when you are an island on ur own and trying to change the world. My parents yelled at me a lot growing up and they used to do that in the past, in fact, in the last few months. Just like you, I cried when I got so bad and needed to do something to let you my anger. One time, my dad unreasonably yelled at me and so I sent him a message via Yim. I said, "This is a warning, if you yell at me and not being reasonable, then I swear I will never talk to you again." Ever since that day, he stopped yelling at me and sometimes he blurred out insults towards me so I always punished him. I used his credit to purchase clothes to make me feel better. That is what I have been doing for the past few months and now, he holds his tongue. I guess this method that I am using works really well. It's scientifically proven to be an effective method.

    Reply from the above comment. "Good for you that you have been with the same guy this long. I have not been with any guy for a long time and right now, I am single. Btw, how can you keep a relationship for that long?"

  • CoBeLanhLungTuyetTinh

    February 11th 2012, 12:19 pm
  • Feb 6-2012
    I don’t know why I feel like this seen I have no solution to get out of my little dream and hope. People who are live in the society do have big/small dream and hope in the value life. I am starting to think how come my hope and dream are so tiny, I believe is very vague.
    Dating with him I don’t know is a mistake or just a fate to push me to date him. I was in love in the first sight. With him more than three years already, every time I talk to him about relationship or marriage stuff, he act and say he don’t know anything, then he act like a kid in the age three just grow up.
    I am very confused and dispirited. I am not pushing him to get marriage right away, beside that two years ago we did plan out, but the plan did not work out for us. Is not my fault, talk to him I feel very disappointed. Conversation with him “blah blah blah” this is going worse and worse he is depend on his parents then I discover out that he parents are depend my parents. This story is continued my mom starting to ask me about my relationship with him blah blah ….. on and on … I am shock and unexpected this going to happen when I date him. Three years ago his parents push him and me to get marriage, when I just date him less than 2 month but I did not want to because I am still in school and I was having trouble looking for a job to help me parents, and for some other reason. Also I don’t know him yet thinking why his parents pushing him and me, telling everyone in the whole world.
    Now I and he sure is time for us to get marriage. Him and me want to talk to his parents but is parents always busy and busy working they business. Talk to his parents I will have the pressure why because his parents will call my mom and repeat very detail to my mom. Then my mom will yell at me. This is not the first time. I feel so scare and very uncomfortable to talk to his parents or even come over his house. This time I will let him talk to his parents and I just sit and relax. No more stress for me.

  • CoBeLanhLungTuyetTinh

    February 11th 2012, 12:22 pm
  • To Lovely Allie

    single is good no stress and pressure .....i kinnda want my single life back ... but the time did not turn backward again ...

  • lovely_allie

    February 11th 2012, 2:09 pm
  • I have talked about this to my friend before. We tend to not value what we have in front of us but always looking forward to the future. When we are single, we want to not be single and always desiring to find the perfect true love but once we have someone for a stable amount of time, then we want the vice versa, to be single just like before. I think we should value what we have in front of us and live in the moment, we tend to forget how to do that sometimes.

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